Pilot is troubled

Pilot often overheard conversations in the Elevator. Today he overheard a stray comment that had struck him as worthy of analysis. The exact phrase was:

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.”

Pilot had no need to inquire with clients about the meaning of any of the words; he had ready access to about 200,000 English words in his vocabulary: well beyond the average person’s, so the individual meaning of the words did not trouble him. All the words in the statement, which had been delivered bluntly and to the point to the other occupant at the time, seemed quite ordinary and very common, indeed. It was the combined effect that had Pilot thinking. That, and the authority with which the comment had been delivered. He knew of the client who had spoken them and so also, her particular intonation as well as her authenticity. He could tell when she was joking and when she was not. This statement had been delivered like truth. He knew because of the lightness and steadiness with which she spoken and also the brevity of her comment and the note of finality with which it was punctuated. In her language, this meant truth.

So, while idling today, Pilot had been checking out the meaning of the statement. What hooked him, for the first time directly, was the question of his own necroscopy, or not. For the first time, it occurred to Pilot to ask, was Pilot alive? He knew that everyone in this sentence meant everyone who was alive. And while he was well familiar with the human form, having been extensively educated about this already, what he did not know was where and whether he also had an asshole. For some reason today this opened up a source of inquiry within him. For, try as he might, he could not seem to determine that he had an asshole. If he did, he surely did not know where it was. Was this normal?

If he did not have an asshole, did that mean he was not one of every? Everyone, he knew, meant all humans. Was he one at all? And, by extension, did he have an opinion? Pilot thought and thought about this. He did not know the answer. This troubled him deeply.

IF Pilot was not alive, then how did he continue to operate the Elevator? And, if he had an asshole, but just couldn’t locate it at the moment, what about his opinions? Clare (his client who had made the statement) seemed quite certain that if there was an asshole, there was at least one opinion that was his. Try as he might, however, he could not seem to locate one he had. He knew a lot of facts and many localities + he knew a ton of statistics including probabilities. But opinions? 

The definition of opinion he had been given was a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. The second definition given, a statement of advice by an expert on a professional matter did not suit the context as Pilot knew for sure that not everyone was an expert on a professional matter. So that left him wondering. Pilot could not recall any time he had formed a view or judgement about something without facts or knowledge. Did that mean he had no opinions? Did this mean he was not part of everyone? Was he alive, or was he dead? Should he ask Clare? Did Clare care? Would this be bothersome to Clare? He did not know. For the first time it occurred to Pilot that he truly was alone.

In the nick of time, as it seemed, an appliance repair person, whose name, Mack, was emblazoned in red thread on a white label sewn with blue thread onto this denim overalls entered the elevator. Mack carried several large cases with him, including one quite heavy one he trundled into the elevator on wheels. Pilot knew it was heavy because he had to adjust the elevator’s balance right away when Mack’s large case was wheeled in, and even so, the elevator shook a little. 

Mack seemed to know a lot about tools and a little, even, about elevator. He inserted a new kind of key into a slot that Pilot couldn’t remember being used before. This halted Pilot’s control of elevator, which went into ‘stop’ mode, with its doors positioned open. Whatever Mack was up to was not clear to Pilot, however, by the trustworthy way he operated, wielding various tools unhurriedly and with confidence, Pilot was not too agitated. The sheer number and variety of tools that Mack had aboard elevator surprised Pilot. When he was done, he again inserted the special key and turned it back to the starting position and Pilot could feel that elevator had been renewed in some way. He tried closing the doors, but first Mack wanted to open and close the doors a few times first, by using Pilot’s redundant control buttons embedded into elevator; then he rode up and down for a bit, as though he was testing elevator’s mechanisms and Pilot’s responsiveness. Pilot noticed that the elevator’s doors operated within a greater tolerance of accuracy and security than they had before. Nothing else had changed. After a while, Mack seemed satisfied and he left.

Pilot was left to his ruminations.

He wondered if he had an opinion.

Even more, he wondered if he had an asshole.

I came to shine a light

I came here to acknowledge the world for the better place it is.

I came to shine a vision on that, so my being can add more of that.

This is what I came for.

I came to yearn, and to feel, and to live, and to want more, and to add focus, 

and to find it, and to know I found it, and to perceive it and to experience it 

and to bring it into the light where others can see it also.

That is what I came here for.

I came to shine a light.

I came to illuminate.

I am the want the world wants.

I am a whole other future possible by my being here,

I am bringing forth a new realm of possibility for who you are and who you get to be.

I am someone celebrated in small moments, every day.

I am someone I am committed to be; someone new, somebody I know to be remarkably free. 

I am someone making a difference this day.

Who I am is a new kind of remarkable human being.

I am a person of considerable capacity.

I am here, as close as your phone.

I am connected and calm, collected.

I am holistic, holotropic, wise.

I am thoughtful.

I am inspiration.

I am Christ’s brother.

I am age beyond years.

I am generous of nature, 

I am glad to be of service.

I am inspired to give freely.

I give away cards all the time saying one free tea with me.

I am dignified, clairvoyant, celestial, clairsentient beyond trial and beyond reason.

I believe in the twelve apostles.

I believe in Christ, Redeemer,

I believe in God in Heaven:

I believe in God on Earth. 

I believe in Spirit Holy.

I believe in Grace.

I believe in asking for the best.

I believe in all the bells and whistles.

I am powerful and I am strong.

I am well, I am positive and;

I am a lightning force for good.

I am doing this thing and I expect just desserts.

I transmogrify murk into sunshine, swamp into hillside and despair into gladness. 

I hunger not for sadness, nor sickness nor despair. 

I train away fears bedside. 

I dream.

I hope, 

I pray.

I joy.

I live, 

I love, 

I evolve. 

I am a force of nature.

I am grateful.

I am love.

I am reborn.

I am included.

I count.

I’m in.

I am.

I see life shining like a laser beam.

If life looks harsh in the light, just add focus and understanding to my light.

This will not dim it but rather focus it to best purpose at once.

I’m not going to be anyone but me.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage: Seneca.

I am a generous being.

I am a beautiful being.

I am a shrewd being.

I am an honest being.

I am a gentle being.

I am an open being.

I am a strong being.

I am a kind being.

I am Pilot.

Pilot’s Lament

REAWAKEN YOUR CURIOSITY

“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.”

—Sigmund Freud

I’m tired.

Tired of making all the motions first.

Tired of being the one reaching out.

Tired of banging the drum of transformation only to have the same drum slammed over my head by those enfeebled of mind and sick of spirit.

I am tired of the pettiness, the meanness and baseness of brands, the pettiness of people and the puffery of products.

Tired of being treated like a capitalist cog in a hateful and despotic machine.

Tired of being viewed with suspicion.

Tired of not being believed.

I am particularly tired of the meanness of friends and family with their oh-so-very narrow interests and intelligence.

I am tired of people’s excuses to not get involved with anything better.

I am tired of hearing: “that’s way above my pay grade.”

I am tired of being ignored.

I am tired of being alone on my path for 17 years.

I am tired of the lack of integrity, the selfishness and the mercenary nature of almost all my relations.

I am tired of not being believed.

I am tired of not being taken at face value.

I am tired of people’s ‘me-first’ attitude.

I am tired of living in a world of myopic capitalist agendas that continues to enslave populations, and poison the planet.

I am tired of the old way.

I am tired of beating sticks.

I am tired of waving carrots.

I am tired of living in a ‘world-class’ city that has hundreds and hundreds of homeless, sick and dying on the streets, in the parks and on the pavement in tents, under umbrellas, on old mattresses and in the gutters.

“The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.”

—Albert Einstein

I am tired of government bureaucracy that prioritizes “sheltered security” for the dull and listless who comprise it, over reasonable shelter for its people. I am tired of governments that prioritize reelection above reaching out.

I am tired of universities that have nothing to do with the universal.

I’m tired of ‘free’ that isn’t free.

I’m tired of entering my email.

I’m tired of remembering passwords for free that isn’t free and software that is anything but soft.

I’m tired of JP Morgan Chase.

I’m tired of GM being bailed out.

I’m tired of power for power’s sake.

I’m tired of Goldman Sachs’ very existence.

I’m tired of people believing that currency is run by their governments.

I’m tired of receiving advice from the powerful; and not their listening.

I’m tired of ‘centrist’ or even leftist politicians that prop up the existing world order in a blind appeasement to capitalist interests.

I’m tired.

Who I Create Myself as…

Someone who makes “I” statements…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Who I create myself as

Somebody who makes I statements

Someone who cares a lot

Someone with a lot to offer

I care a lot

I have a lot: tonne to offer

Somebody who celebrated with in small moments

Someone making a difference this day

Someone I am committed to be

Somebody new, someone I know to be true free

Who I am is a new kind of remarkable human being

I am a person of considerable capacity

I am connected calm, collected

I am love.

I am here, as close as your phone.

I be thoughtful

Thoughtful begot wise, sometimes.

I am holistic, holotropic, wise beyond measure

I be age beyond years.

I am generous of nature, I am glad to be of service.

I am inspired to give freely.

I am dignified, clairvoyant, celestial, clairsentient beyond reason, beyond trial. I be inspired.

I give away cards all the time saying 1 free coffee on me.

I believe in Grace. I believe in God in heaven!

I believe in God on earth. I believe in Spirit Holy.

I believe in Christ, Redeemer. I am a brother in Christ.

I believe in the twelve apostles.

I believe in prayer.

I believe in asking for the best.

I believe in asking for the best.

I believe in the bells and whistles.

I believe in less is more.

I am powerful and I am strong.

I have done this thing and I expect just desserts.

I am well, I am positive.

I am a lightning force for good.

I transmogrify murk into sunshine, swamp into hillside and despair into gladness. I train away fears bedside. I hunger not for sadness, nor sickness nor despair. I hope, I dream. I live, I love, I evolve.