Pilot’s Lament


“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.”

—Sigmund Freud

I’m tired.

Tired of making all the motions first.

Tired of being the one reaching out.

Tired of banging the drum of transformation only to have the same drum slammed over my head by those enfeebled of mind and sick of spirit.

I am tired of the pettiness, the meanness and baseness of brands, the pettiness of people and the puffery of products.

Tired of being treated like a capitalist cog in a hateful and despotic machine.

Tired of being viewed with suspicion.

Tired of not being believed.

I am particularly tired of the meanness of friends and family with their oh-so-very narrow interests and intelligence.

I am tired of people’s excuses to not get involved with anything better.

I am tired of hearing: “that’s way above my pay grade.”

I am tired of being ignored.

I am tired of being alone on my path for 17 years.

I am tired of the lack of integrity, the selfishness and the mercenary nature of almost all my relations.

I am tired of not being believed.

I am tired of not being taken at face value.

I am tired of people’s ‘me-first’ attitude.

I am tired of living in a world of myopic capitalist agendas that continues to enslave populations, and poison the planet.

I am tired of the old way.

I am tired of beating sticks.

I am tired of waving carrots.

I am tired of living in a ‘world-class’ city that has hundreds and hundreds of homeless, sick and dying on the streets, in the parks and on the pavement in tents, under umbrellas, on old mattresses and in the gutters.

“The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.”

—Albert Einstein

I am tired of government bureaucracy that prioritizes “sheltered security” for the dull and listless who comprise it, over reasonable shelter for its people. I am tired of governments that prioritize reelection above reaching out.

I am tired of universities that have nothing to do with the universal.

I’m tired of ‘free’ that isn’t free.

I’m tired of entering my email.

I’m tired of remembering passwords for free that isn’t free and software that is anything but soft.

I’m tired of JP Morgan Chase.

I’m tired of GM being bailed out.

I’m tired of power for power’s sake.

I’m tired of Goldman Sachs’ very existence.

I’m tired of people believing that currency is run by their governments.

I’m tired of receiving advice from the powerful; and not their listening.

I’m tired of ‘centrist’ or even leftist politicians that prop up the existing world order in a blind appeasement to capitalist interests.

I’m tired.

Who I Create Myself as…

Someone who makes “I” statements…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Who I create myself as

Somebody who makes I statements

Someone who cares a lot

Someone with a lot to offer

I care a lot

I have a lot: tonne to offer

Somebody who celebrated with in small moments

Someone making a difference this day

Someone I am committed to be

Somebody new, someone I know to be true free

Who I am is a new kind of remarkable human being

I am a person of considerable capacity

I am connected calm, collected

I am love.

I am here, as close as your phone.

I be thoughtful

Thoughtful begot wise, sometimes.

I am holistic, holotropic, wise beyond measure

I be age beyond years.

I am generous of nature, I am glad to be of service.

I am inspired to give freely.

I am dignified, clairvoyant, celestial, clairsentient beyond reason, beyond trial. I be inspired.

I give away cards all the time saying 1 free coffee on me.

I believe in Grace. I believe in God in heaven!

I believe in God on earth. I believe in Spirit Holy.

I believe in Christ, Redeemer. I am a brother in Christ.

I believe in the twelve apostles.

I believe in prayer.

I believe in asking for the best.

I believe in asking for the best.

I believe in the bells and whistles.

I believe in less is more.

I am powerful and I am strong.

I have done this thing and I expect just desserts.

I am well, I am positive.

I am a lightning force for good.

I transmogrify murk into sunshine, swamp into hillside and despair into gladness. I train away fears bedside. I hunger not for sadness, nor sickness nor despair. I hope, I dream. I live, I love, I evolve.